Monthly Archives: April 2009


looking back…

I am working on archiving my journals. Scanning them onto my iMac and burning them to disc. I’ll put the discs in my fire safe. Simple process for sure, but it’s mostly so that I will always have a copy and so that my words will not die with me. I know that I am a simple mortal and that time will come for me as it does for everyone. But somehow, I don’t want the struggles I’ve been through to have been in vain. I know that I have learned from them, but I can’t accept that we as people are destined to never learn from each others experiences. I also know that the majority of the insanity that has plagued my life in the past 5+ years was never truly shared outside of myself and my journals. Some of you may think you understand, or you may think that you saw what was going on. But thinking back and looking at the words that I scrawled out over multiple journals I can assure you that you never really knew the extent of what my world was really like.

Having said that, as I look back I am amazed at where my life has been and how much things have changed. Honestly looking back at the last decade of my life I have become a completely different person. Four years ago marked an extreme change, and since then the journey has been most interesting and frightening and amazing and joyful. It is a strange and curious thing to catch snippets of these pages as they are scanned in and be aware of where I am versus where I was.

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