Monthly Archives: September 2008

writing

As we grow, learn, mature… -09/22/2008 – (c)

09/22/2008 – As we grow, learn, mature… – (c)

As we grow, learn, mature, the visual acuity of hindsight grows sharper, deeper, more meaningful. We understand so many things that we have seen and done, that others have done. And we often find, with this new found sight, that things were not as they seemed.

Other people grow, learn, mature, their visual acuity of hindsight also grows sharper, deeper and more meaningful. They change as we have. They see things differently than they did.

So often, we look back. So often we re-evaluate things, people, relationships. And find that they are different than we had imagined. Why were we afraid to speak bravely, honestly about who we were, and who we wanted so desperately to become? When did we learn that honesty and communication were dangers to ourselves?

How funny it is, now, to lean that we felt the same, even then. When we were both faking so hard to keep the other from guessing. Were we really so much alike?

And even now. When we are able to be honest with ourselves about the way of things past, are we still walking the same path?

Do these things bring us more in step, more aligned, more together? Or do they push us apart even further? Where are we now? Can we see these things as honestly with each other, or are we still unable to speak bravely, honestly about who we were and where we wanted to be?

Where is that honesty now? Haven’t we struggled enough, pushed ourselves toward being better, and seeking the truth of our fears? How can that path, the long meaningful path of self-discovery, leave us still unable to look each other in the face? We talk sideways, about each other, but never about who we were. Never about us.

We’ve learned of our own short comings, yet have we really tried to learn, understand, improve those short comings that were a part of us, together. The things we did to ourselves, as we contributed to the madness that was our worlds intertwined.

As we each grow, learn, mature.

As we each sharpen our understanding of our individual pasts.

Can we, for once, join together and grow through the things we can’t unravel on our own. Is it possible for us to look each other in the eyes we have looked back with, to see what we were and together work through the pain and confusion, so that we can both move forward from where we are now. So that we no longer carry those broken pieces of ourselves, separately on into our individual lives. So that we can be healthy and whole.

So that we can grow, learn, mature. So that we can sharpen our hindsight.

So that we can, one day, look back and understand who we were and what we have done. And see that things were not as they may have seemed all along.

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